[Q&A – Marriage] Doesn’t pre-marital living together work for some people?

Last week, in a guest post called “On Moving In Together” on Devotional Diva, I challenged the practice of pre-marital living together.

For some, I wrote, “cohabitation is a litmus test. If it works, you get married. If it doesn’t, you don’t. Because (for them,) it’s better to say ‘I’ll love you if…’ instead of ‘I’ll love you despite what’s yet to come…’ For others, cohabitation is like a practice run. If you like it, you commit. If you don’t like it, you call it quits.”

A response to the story sparked this, the latest installment of Q&A:

The Q: “What about couples who live together, get married, and are together the rest of their lives? Couldn’t you argue that it works some, but not all, of the time?” -Corinna

The A: I am certain there are couples who cohabit, marry later, and live as happily ever after as humanly possible. But I won’t argue that it therefore works for some and not for others. This is because “living together before marriage” is not the “it” that works for the couples whose marriages last. Love is the only “it” that works. Some couples who cohabit have it, and others (I’d argue most) don’t.

Click here to read “On Moving In Together.”

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • “Love is the only ‘it’…”

    YES! Spot on!

  • Anonymous

    What a very narrow view of the world you have.

    “Love is the only “it” that works. Some couples who cohabit have it, and others (I’d argue most) don’t.”

    You could say the same thing about married couples. Some have it and some don’t. Unless you have done an in depth study on the long term success rates of married couples who lived together first vs. those that didn’t – then I don’t see how you’re qualified to make statements on this issue.