The Q: “I’ve been asking different people what they define as ‘dating’ versus ‘hanging out.’ Everyone has entirely different answers. What should count as a date and what shouldn’t?” -B.T.
The A: The short version of my answer is that it’s a date if you both decide that you want it to be. But here’s the long version: Continue reading “Q and A: What’s a date (and what isn’t)?”
The Q, regarding a person’s decision to save sex for marriage: “Many people say that your first time having sex is awkward, and every time you have sex for the first time with a new partner is awkward. Why would you want to have an awkward wedding night?” -Katie*
The A: We don’t. Nobody does, because nobody’s decision to save sex is rooted in his or her hope for an awkward wedding night. But that doesn’t mean the risk doesn’t cross our minds. Of course it does. Continue reading “Q and A: Why would you want an awkward wedding night?”
The Q: What advice would you give to a young Christian woman when she’s attracted to a guy? And what advice would you give her when a guy has asked her on a date?
The A: The short version? READ MY BOOK. 😉 Keep reading for the long version:
When a woman is attracted to a man, the words of advice that come to mind are as follows (And — for the record — I’d say the same stuff to a guy): Continue reading “Q and A: What should we do when we’re attracted to each other?”
The Q: My significant other is jealous, and I think that’s unreasonable. What do I do?
The A: When I was 20, I sort-of-dated a bassist in a rock band. From behind merch tables in crowded church halls, I watched him sign posters with Sharpies and take pictures with fans. While he stood and smiled surrounded by flirty girls, I pretended not to feel what I probably usually felt: mildly jealous.
To be jealous is to “feel or show suspicion of unfaithfulness in a relationship.” To express jealousy is, in my observation, on a lot of peoples’ unwritten lists of “what not to do while you’re dating.” We are probably hesitant to express jealousy while we date because the phrases “jealous person” and “unreasonable person” are often — and wrongly — used interchangeably. Continue reading “Q and A: My significant other is jealous, and I think that’s unreasonable. What do I do?”
The Q: “With our society as it is today and everyone expecting sex outside of marriage, how (or how soon) do you let somebody you’ve started seeing know that you practice chastity (and that therefore, you abstain from nonmarital sex)? -a reader
The A: How I tell a guy I’m saving sex has varied, and — let’s face it — Google usually beats me to it. But if an interested guy hasn’t Googled me, that I’m saving sex inevitably comes up when he learns that I’m a writer and asks about what I write. How I disclose that I practice chastity, however, has more flexibility than when I do it.
When do I disclose it? Immediately! Here’s why: Continue reading “Q and A: How soon do you tell your date you’re saving sex for marriage?”