How to snap out of an ‘I’m still single’ pity party.

Last year, I stood at a booth at a women’s conference, selling shirts and telling visitors about the virtue of chastity. One of them — in her 50s and still single — loitered at the table until she found the words.

“This doesn’t work,” she said.

“What doesn’t work?” I asked her.

She pointed at the big, foam board replica of the cover of my book, Chastity Is For Lovers — which, then, had not yet published.

“This stuff,” she said. “I’ve lived my whole life for God, and I still don’t have a husband.”

Q and A: Why would you want an awkward wedding night?

The Q, regarding a person’s decision to save sex for marriage: “Many people say that your first time having sex is awkward, and every time you have sex for the first time with a new partner is awkward. Why would you want to have an awkward wedding night?” -Katie*

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The A: We don’t. Nobody does, because nobody’s decision to save sex is rooted in his or her hope for an awkward wedding night. But that doesn’t mean the risk doesn’t cross our minds. Of course it does.

Save the date! I’ll discuss practicing chastity in a culture that calls it crazy at the St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary’s annual young adult retreat.

Date: February 6, 2016
Time: TBD
Event: St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary Young Adult Retreat
Venue: St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary
Location: 10701 S Military Trail
Boynton Beach, FL

Save the date! Details to come.

Date: February 13, 2016
Time: TBD
Event: Women's Conference
Sponsor: Diocese of Des Moines
Location: Des Moines, IA

Why you don’t need to be a virgin to practice chastity.

In a comment beneath a chastity post I once wrote, a reader left a disconcerting note: “I’m not a virgin, so I guess I can’t practice chastity.” The comment hurt my heart.

The person who wrote it had dismissed chastity as irrelevant as a result of sexual experience — a sign of a misconception of chastity that says it isn’t designed for all of us. But chastity is a moral virtue, which is acquired, in part, by “human effort.” You don’t have to be a virgin to practice it. Here’s why: