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3 Ways To Be Part of the ‘Chastity is For Lovers’ Book Launch

0-59471-480-0Is 108 days in advance too soon to start a countdown? Because in 108 days, on Nov. 28, my debut book — Chastity is For Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin — will ship to the people who preordered it, and will be on sale for real for the people who didn’t.

I am moved each time I remember it’s really happening.

Since I first announced that Ave Maria Press would let me turn my proposal into a book, regular readers have been gracious to support me, by praying while I wrote, and participating in surveys, and practicing patience while I tweeted too much about the critical role pretzels play in the writing process.

I am sincerely grateful.

I turned the book in for the final time on June 12, and while we wait for it to hit shelves, a handful of fabulous friends have asked how else to help. If you are interested, too, here are three ways: Continue reading “3 Ways To Be Part of the ‘Chastity is For Lovers’ Book Launch”

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How to hate discussing sex with people who don’t practice chastity.

Last week, I almost hated discussing sex with people who don’t practice chastity (If I’d gone there, I’d have a problem, as somebody whose forthcoming book is about it.).

My frustration with the conversation was rooted in an influx of critical feedback from people whose opinions don’t align with mine. But after five years of writing about sex for secular and Christian audiences, I could have seen the temptation to hate it coming. Disdain for this sort of discussion is birthed by unreasonable expectations, outlined in the three steps any chaste person ought to take if he or she wants to disdain it:

Step 1: Expect to be regarded respectfully by everyone involved in the conversation.

In direct responses to what I’ve written about saving sex for marriage, I’ve been referred to as unattractive, unintelligent, and — to quote a 60-year-old man who wrote a letter to a newspaper’s editor — “probably not a hot babe.” If you want to hate discussing sex with people who don’t practice chastity, expecting to be treated with respect is a good place to start. But if you would like liking the process of discussing sex with people who don’t practice chastity to be within the realm of possibility, let go of that expectation. You are of infinite value because you exist. Your dignity does not depend on a person’s opinion of you; your dignity is intrinsic. Accepting that you will be disrespected is not the same as denying that you are worthy of respect.You can control how often you remind yourself of your worth. You cannot control the people you encounter who don’t believe in it.

Step 2: Expect to correct every misconception of sex that comes up, as soon as it comes up.

Continue reading “How to hate discussing sex with people who don’t practice chastity.”

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3 Lessons and 2 Tips From Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff3 Lessons and 2 Tips is a series of interviews in which some of my favorite people (and probably some of yours) share three lessons they’ve learned by being married, plus two tips for single people.

This edition features Jon Acuff, who is singlehandedly responsible for fostering my ability to find meaning in the flattened biscuit I found stuck to the bottom of a slip-resistant shoe.*

But better than for the impact he’s had on my memories of being a writer stuck working at a Popeyes Chicken, Acuff is known for being a New York Times Bestselling author of four books, including his most recent, Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average & Do Work that Matters. He has been married since April 21, 2001 and graciously agreed to share some of what he’s learned as a husband:

AS: How did you meet your wife?

JA: We both went to Samford University in Birmingham, AL. (Fortunately God made sure I didn’t meet her when I was in college because I was an idiot.) After I graduated, I worked at an ad agency as a copywriter. Jenny was a senior and got an internship at the agency. We worked on a big project together and fell in love.

AS: What’s the first lesson you’ve learned in marriage?

JA: That you have to be deliberate about doing life together. The default as humans is to naturally drift apart and continue to build and manicure your own life, even as you’re supposed to be living as one. You really have to fight to stay connected.

AS: And a second lesson?

Continue reading “3 Lessons and 2 Tips From Jon Acuff”

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Five arleenspenceley.com additions worth noting.

I am stoked today to share my site’s redesign, brought to you by a small but mighty team of talented friends and a week’s worth of sleep deprivation (Worth it!). It’s worth noting that the redesign resulted in five fabulous additions to the site:

1. The book page.

The old site had a book page; the new site has a better one. Click here to see the book, and to see what a handful of your favorite famous Catholics wrote about Chastity is For Lovers after they read it. (Best. Endorsers. EVER. So grateful.)

2. The schedule.

The old site had a schedule; the new site has a better one. Click here to see a list of upcoming events (including but not limited to two Chastity is For Lovers book launch parties). Bonus: Each time I add an event to my schedule, it’ll pop up for you as a post and add itself to the ever-growing list. Keep checkin’ it for your hometown.

Continue reading “Five arleenspenceley.com additions worth noting.”

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#SCORRE14

“I’m horrified.”

I said it to a speech coach, unabashed but anxious, unprepared for what had worried me all week:

a five-minute speech.

I would deliver the presentation — for which I had been given no guidelines except for the time frame — on my first night at SCORRE, a conference created to turn participants into better communicators. The SCORRE conference, born out of the wisdom and experience of believers, business partners, and bestselling authors Ken Davis and Michael Hyatt, would require a leap outside my comfort zone, a move a communicator must make to up his or her game. SCORRE, I discovered, could facilitate that leap. A communicator can up his or her game by taking advantage of the opportunities the conference provided: sessions, speeches and social time.

In seven sessions, I learned what I didn’t know while I prepared my first five-minute speech: how to so focus a speech that what doesn’t need to be in it isn’t and what needs to be in it is, how to “talk” with my body, how to use humor, how to illustrate a speech’s points, and how to be a confident speaker. I also got to see Ken Davis dance a lot. As a result of my taking advantage of the opportunities to be part of the sessions, which were led by communicators I admire, I don’t have to panic in speech prep like I did the day before the conference.

In three video recorded speeches — each five minutes and given in front of my small group and our coach — I could compare my speaking skillz pre-, mid- and post-absorption of the SCORRE method for preparing a speech. By the conference’s third night, I had learned the method and, for the first time in my life, delivered a speech without notes of any kind. (And I nailed it, according to feedback from my small group members and coach.) The opportunity to deliver speeches daily was an opportunity to immediately apply what I had learned — and to learn that it totally works.

In the conference’s social time — during lunch, dinner, and late nights in the hotel lobby — I rubbed elbows with more than a hundred fabulous communicators. I exchanged business cards and ideas with authors and show hosts, pastors and PhD’s, bloggers and business owners and people who — YAY — plan to invite me to speak at their churches when Chastity is For Lovers launches. The social time created opportunities to network, to connect with people whose work plus mine might equal a better world — people whose relationships with me won’t end just because the conference did.

At a dinner during the conference, I stopped at Ken Davis’s table to tell him that preparing a speech using SCORRE was a far smoother experience for me than speech prep ever had been, that I would preach in favor of SCORRE on his behalf.

Today — finally home from the conference — I make good on what I told him. SCORRE didn’t pay me to praise the conference with this post. Nobody even asked me to share my experience. But my experience in the sessions and speeches and social time were of such benefit professionally and personally that I just can’t not share.

Now it’s time to up my game…

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Click here for more information about SCORRE.