[Q&A – Dating] Can a guy be persistent but not annoying?

The Q: “How does a guy be persistent without being annoying? Possible?”

The A: Short version: Totally.

Long version: Persistence is pursuit despite difficulty. Dedication in the face of opposition. Most relationships require some of it. Some relationships require more of it than others. In dating, persistence isn’t necessarily bad if what’s “opposed” to your pursuit is, say, time or money or distance. It is bad, however, if what’s opposed to it is the person you’re trying to date.

Ultimately, only she – the woman with whom you’re persistent – can discern the difference between persistent and annoying. This is because for most of us, you’re “persistent” if we like you and “annoying” if we don’t. But for some women, “persistent” and “annoying” are synonymous.

There is only one way to find out.

In the process, we learn a lot about each other. What we do and don’t want in spouses. We discern what all of us must:

Whether getting together makes sense. Whether we’ll make good spouses and parents. Whether the world needs a kid who could turn into one of us. Whether the pursuit, establishment, and maintenance of this contributes to the greater glory of God.

And regarding a guy who pursues a woman despite difficulty, she must discern whether his pursuit is persistent or annoying.

If you like her…

let her.

#WorthIt. 🙂

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This post is part of an occasional series called Q&A. Click here to read all the posts from it.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Excellent viewpoint!

  • this is awesome 🙂

  • Anonymous

    I have a situation where the girl lives 500 miles away. We have been communicating every day for 6 months. We like each other a lot but distance plays a role. She is also up for a promotion that is taking the vast majority of her time. I had a decision to walk (as does she) away or remain patient and persistent…NOT annoying. I chose to not vanish completely. I continue to let her know how much I care, what she is worth, and the effort I am willing to make to see her.

    If you like her, let her know…but dont push. Be yourself…she will know if you are genuine…women always do. If you are…and you remain persistent…you could end up with the happiest, most loyal and loving woman you will ever know.

    As Steinbeck said….Don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens – The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

    • I wish you well but 500 miles is a long way. My advice? Pray for discernment, IF you are consistent and persistent in prayer God does say something but you have to be open enough to notice it. Other than this use common sense, long distance relationships really don’t work unless one of you gets a break and actually moves and even when that happens it doesn’t always turn out good…I’ve been there and done that and have scars to show, sadly.

  • This is something I struggle with…I want someone to know I’m interested…but I don’t want to be soo annoying that I scare them off…there is def. a fine line.