[Q&A – Dating] How do I know if the feelings are mutual?

The Q: How do I know if the feelings are mutual when I’m interested in someone?

The A: The short answer: You’ll know by the time you need to know.

The long answer: Sometimes we want to know now whether he or she likes me or he or she doesn’t, that our expectations align, that the meaning I attach to my experience is the same as the meaning he attaches to his.

In either case, we might over think, or dissect and diagnose. We poll our friends for their opinions about what it means that a guy didn’t respond to your text, or that a girl didn’t favorite your tweet. We want for Action A + Action B to = Best Case Scenario (as far as our opinions are concerned).

But your friends aren’t mind readers (and neither are you). There is no formula.

Our pursuit of one – or of “signs,” or of a friend’s opinion that turns out to be fact – might be fruitless. In it, a person eludes the only two reliable sources for the answers to his or her questions:

Time, and the person we want to date.

When you aren’t sure the person you like likes you back, consider this:

“Wait and see” isn’t as bad as it sounds. Patience is not the antithesis to persistence. Patience is part of persistence.

And if you really need to know now…


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This post is part of an occasional series called Q&A. Click here to read all the posts from it.