Why I write what I write.

I sit tonight at a probably 10′ long table alone, along a wall in Starbucks, because when I got here, it was the only available table close to an outlet. I haven’t plugged my computer in yet, distracted so far by the patrons to my right — a stepmother and adult stepdaughters, who sip seasonal beverages and discuss the family’s patriarch.

Who they suspect is involved in infidelity.

Who has been unfaithful before.

Who isn’t happy.

“I can’t say I’m in it for the long haul,” stepmother warned. Stepdaughters understood. I understand, too.

This — a real life representation of relationships at nearly their worst (It could be worse.) — hurts my heart. And my soul. And my head.

This is why I write what I write: Not solely because marriages disintegrate, but because marriages still start that are going to disintegrate. Because marriages that are going to disintegrate don’t actually have to start. I write what I write because “marriage is the new ‘going steady'” and isn’t designed to be. I write what I write because love is far greater than our culture says it is, and somebody has to say it.

When I write it is with the hope and prayer that readers who are married receive whatever they need to start to rebuild or reinforce a marriage’s foundation; with the hope and prayer that readers who are single and mingling receive what they need to discern when to stop or start a relationship; with the hope and prayer that readers who discern marriage don’t do it if disintegration is likely, or an option; with the hope and prayer that readers who are single for good will know it doesn’t mean life for them is loveless.

And your prayers while I write are appreciated.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Arleen! Continue to write. Be assured of many prayers…and, that witnessed conversation is evidence and affirmation of the much needed sharing of Truth. +JMJ

  • Came over from the “New Evangelists Monthly” link-up.

    I work in the ministry of marriage and family life – and the things you write are so needed. Please keep writing and know of my prayers for you!

    • Wow — thanks for sharing this, Rebecca, and for the prayers. Means a lot!

  • John Morgan

    I’m pretty sure the love I have for my platonic friends far exceeds the love most spouses have for each other. And I’m happy to count you as one of my friends Arleen. Please continue to write.

    • Arleen Spenceley

      Thank you!