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Thoughts on being 30, unmarried, and childless.

[callout]This post is by my friend Mandy Dobbelmann. Mandy, founder and editor of Forte E Bello. is a writer, singer/songwriter, and music teacher with a love for life, people, adventure and living simply. She is passionate about using her gift for writing and music to be a voice for change.[/callout]

Over the past year and half since I started my blog, I have received my share of messages and inquiries regarding my single-hood. By this stage in my life it has become something I’ve just grown accustomed to, not only from my blog readers but from friends and family.

The endless questions/comments are immanent – “Why aren’t you married yet?”, “Are you being too picky?”, “Maybe you should make yourself more available/pursuable.” By this point in life, I’ve heard it all. Especially considering I come from the midwest (Minnesota) – a land of young brides, full nests, and Martha Stewart-esque women. Continue reading “Thoughts on being 30, unmarried, and childless.”

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How to snap out of an ‘I’m still single’ pity party.

Last year, I stood at a booth at a women’s conference, selling shirts and telling visitors about the virtue of chastity. One of them — in her 50s and still single — loitered at the table until she found the words.

“This doesn’t work,” she said.

“What doesn’t work?” I asked her.

She pointed at the big, foam board replica of the cover of my book, Chastity Is For Lovers — which, then, had not yet published.

“This stuff,” she said. “I’ve lived my whole life for God, and I still don’t have a husband.” Continue reading “How to snap out of an ‘I’m still single’ pity party.”

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Q and A: Why would you want an awkward wedding night?

The Q, regarding a person’s decision to save sex for marriage: “Many people say that your first time having sex is awkward, and every time you have sex for the first time with a new partner is awkward. Why would you want to have an awkward wedding night?” -Katie*

The A: We don’t. Nobody does, because nobody’s decision to save sex is rooted in his or her hope for an awkward wedding night. But that doesn’t mean the risk doesn’t cross our minds. Of course it does. Continue reading “Q and A: Why would you want an awkward wedding night?”

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Why you don’t need to be a virgin to practice chastity.

In a comment beneath a chastity post I once wrote, a reader left a disconcerting note: “I’m not a virgin, so I guess I can’t practice chastity.” The comment hurt my heart.

The person who wrote it had dismissed chastity as irrelevant as a result of sexual experience — a sign of a misconception of chastity that says it isn’t designed for all of us. But chastity is a moral virtue, which is acquired, in part, by “human effort.” You don’t have to be a virgin to practice it. Here’s why: Continue reading “Why you don’t need to be a virgin to practice chastity.”

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In or near Gainesville, Tampa or Naples? Let’s meet up.

In or near Gainesville, Tampa or Naples, FL? PREPARE TO MARK YOUR CALENDAR. (If you aren’t in or near those cities, read on anyway, ’cause I need a favor from ya…)

I’ve booked events where you are, and I want to see you there. Here’s where I’ll be:

GAINESVILLE, FL: I’ll chat with the Catholic Gators about practicing chastity in a culture that calls it crazy after the 5:30 p.m. Mass on Thursday, April 16, at St. Augustine’s, 1738, W University Ave., Gainesville. Chastity Is For Lovers will be available for sale for $14 (credit or cash).

ODESSA, FL: I’ll chat with the young adults who attend Spirits and Spirituality about practicing chastity in a culture that calls it crazy at 7 p.m. April 20 at the Wild Rover, 8740 N Mobley Road, Odessa. Chastity Is For Lovers will be available for sale for $14 (credit or cash). Continue reading “In or near Gainesville, Tampa or Naples? Let’s meet up.”