Thoughts on being 30, unmarried, and childless.

This post is by my friend Mandy Dobbelmann. Mandy, founder and editor of Forte E Bello. is a writer, singer/songwriter, and music teacher with a love for life, people, adventure and living simply. She is passionate about using her gift for writing and music to be a voice for change.

Over the past year and half since I started my blog, I have received my share of messages and inquiries regarding my single-hood. By this stage in my life it has become something I’ve just grown accustomed to, not only from my blog readers but from friends and family.

The endless questions/comments are immanent – “Why aren’t you married yet?”, “Are you being too picky?”, “Maybe you should make yourself more available/pursuable.” By this point in life, I’ve heard it all. Especially considering I come from the midwest (Minnesota) – a land of young brides, full nests, and Martha Stewart-esque women.

I have four brothers who all met and married their gorgeous, incredible wives in their early twenties and shortly after started having children. I now have twelve nieces and nephews and love each and every one of them to bits. But every time I am with them it makes me very aware of my relationship status and the obvious lack of children running around my home.

I’ve avoided speaking of this much on my blog because it is a vulnerable thing for me. But I recently received a message from a well meaning blog reader that stirred something up in me and inspired me to write. I will not share his full message, out of respect for him, but I will share the gist of it. He pointed out how he thinks that if I want to get married I have to “go easier on the men” who might be interested in pursuing me. He said, in so many words, it seems through my blog and social media that I am too capable, active, independent, and beautiful for most men to have the confidence to pursue.

Please know I don’t share this publicly to flatter myself but to simply make my point. I hope you all can see my heart in this. He said men are generally intimidated by this so if I “really want to find a man I need to develop some vulnerability, give men a problem to solve…be mildly needy. And give superwoman a rest.”

Click here to read the rest of Mandy’s fantastic post.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Shayne Dsouza

    Well written, I have an observation, I think as soon as you hit 30 and are single. People will not take you seriously, they seem to project you as some useless thing. I’ve seen that a lot, specially around family gatherings. The married people make it sound like you’re nothing. They dont take you seriously. I think more than a mental thing it is this kind of problem that makes it hard for someone. Thoughts?

  • Larry Bud

    Yeah, I have thoughts. Just wait until 35, 40, 45, 50…