Ten Things that Happened in 2013.

In 2013, I finished my MA!

We’re a day now from 2013’s finale, which, like every year’s end, inexplicably comes as a surprise.

Time flies.

Before the ball drops, I thought it good to reflect on the year, which for me, represents in part some bittersweet ends and exciting beginnings. It is with gratitude for each that I share 10 of them:

1. I returned to Twitter: Earlier in my 20s, I deleted all my social media profiles and swore off smartphones, which — as I wrote in a 2012 Times essay about it — had a big impact: “My world indeed is smaller now, but everything in it has more depth.” My aversion to computer-mediated communication was sparked in part by how distracted by it I was, and because I am part of “the crappiest generation of spoiled idiots,” according to comedian Louis CK. I forfeited the convenient way to make and stay in touch with friends but faced a choice when I discovered that being an author could become a reality. All my author friends shared the experience and opinion that publishers don’t take writers seriously who don’t use social media. So, for professional reasons, I returned to Twitter. The move has paid off, not solely professionally but also personally. I have crossed paths with people I otherwise wouldn’t have met, for whose roles in my life I am grateful.

2. We lost a pope: “THE POPE IS RETIRING,” I wrote in the subject line of the email I sent to my brother after learning on Feb. 11 that Pope Benedict XVI would resign. That a papacy could end because a pope retired was not within my awareness — and it wasn’t within my awareness because, as it turned out, it hadn’t happened in 600 years. B16’s decision, underlain by wisdom and humility, made history (and made me cry a little), propelling the Church into the unknown in a conclave we didn’t expect.

3. I got a book deal: On Feb. 28, 2013 — the last day of Pope Benedict’s papacy — I sat at the kitchen table, typing grateful Tweets to the pope and waiting to receive news that would make or break my day (and potentially change my life). In Notre Dame, Indiana, 1100 miles north of my house, the people gathered who would determine which kind of news I’d get. They deliberated, and decided, from a room at a publishing house called Ave Maria Press. After the meeting, an editor delivered the news to me like this: “So,” he said. “How would you like to write a book for us?” I SAID YES. I waited to announce it publicly until October, and am grateful for the support, encouragement, and prayers I have received since.

4. We gained a pope: “I HAVE A POPE!” I shouted down the hall outside my office in the youth shelter where I worked as counselor. The white smoke had risen while I was in with a client, and by the time I heard the news, our new pope — Pope Francis — already had given his blessing from the balcony. “I would like to give the blessing, but first — first I ask a favor of you: before the Bishop blesses his people,” he said while I watched it on TV later, “I ask you to pray to the Lord that he will bless me: the prayer of the people asking the blessing for their Bishop. Let us make, in silence, this prayer: your prayer over me.” It became clear pretty quickly that this pope is the pope of my dreams.

5. I graduated with my master’s degree: Until I signed a book deal, grad school was the greatest (most time-consuming, most challenging) feat I ever had attempted, and the countdown to graduation earlier this year was bittersweet. We sat in a circle during my last class ever in April, to process (like counselors do!) the end of the grad school experience. I acknowledged in the circle that I was happier and sadder than I thought I could be at the same time. I was happy to be freed from the constant state of studying, and sad to say goodbye to the people with whom I’d spent so much time (and the places in which we spent it!). Grief over the loss of grad school quickly faded after I crossed the stage at the Sun Dome in cap and gown on May 4.

6. I went to the Theology of the Body Institute: As a graduation gift to myself, I registered for Theology of the Body I, a week-long course at the Theology of the Body Institute. I flew to Philly for it on June 9, not knowing what was about to happen was one of the best weeks of my entire life. I knew no one upon arrival and left having acquired new friends and new faith in Catholic young people. I learned a lot about TOB (but only the tip of the ice berg) and intend to take a second course in 2014 (Lord willing, Love and Responsbility!).

7. I resigned from my job as counselor to teens: I’ve not blogged about it before, but from Aug. 2012 through Oct. 2013, I worked as a counselor to teens at a shelter for youth. At first, I worked 14 hours per week as an intern, until I resigned from the Times to accept a full time job at the shelter. The gig doubled as a new job and as the full-time counseling internship I needed in order to graduate. As a counselor to teens — foster kids, homeless kids, runaways, and kids in conflict with their families — I learned a lot, including but not limited to these things: teenagers are hilarious (and many of them, resilient), counseling them is hard, and how grateful I am for the parents I have is incalculable. While there are memories I’ll cherish (such as driving a mini van full of singing teenagers across the Tampa Bay Area), I resigned from the shelter in October to return to the gig I had before I interned.

8. I returned to the Tampa Bay Times: In a VERY unexpected but VERY welcomed plot twist, the girl who replaced me when I resigned from the Times in 2012 resigned from the Times herself in October this year. In secret, I longed for the chance to return to the Times, where prior to my own resignation, I had worked for five and a half years very happily. The chance arrived when after my replacement’s resignation, she shared my secret with our editor, who offered me my job back when I called her. I accepted, of course, and it truly has been a homecoming.

9. Sr. Helena Burns agreed to write the foreword for my book: I sat in my room, working on the book, when my phone buzzed with a tweet — “Mentioned by @SrHelenaBurns: I am totally writing the Foreword to Ms. @ArleenSpenceley’s awesome new book on the very popular subject of chastity. #StayTuned. The news was news to me, and good news — scream and accidentally drop your phone good. Can’t wait to read what she writes at the start of the book.

10. I wrote a book: As of 12:26 a.m. on Dec. 23, my editor had the entire first draft of the book in her possession. While the book is “done,” it’s nowhere near done. As 2013 ends and 2014 starts, I will revise what we have as the editing process starts. Your continued prayers are appreciated.

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What happened in your life this year?

MORE BIG NEWS.

A year ago next week, the news staff that puts together the Pasco Times edition of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Tampa Bay Times sat at a table at Sweet Tomatoes. A few weeks earlier, I had announced my impending resignation: After five and a half years, I would leave the paper to work full time as a counselor — a requirement for graduating with my master’s degree. The meal, my “farewell lunch,” would be our last together before I packed my desk and turned in my badge.

Next week, I’ll honor the anniversary in an unexpected way:

By gettin’ my badge back.

It is with gratitude and excitement that I’ll return to the Times after what turned out to be an intermission. Same gig, same newsroom, same desk, so pumped. And so grateful for the chance — thanks be to God — to do what I wasn’t sure I would ever get to:

go back home.

🙂

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Click here to read the Tampa Bay Times online.

Click here to read what I’ve written for it.

3 Lessons and 2 Tips from Audrey Assad.

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3 Lessons and 2 Tips is a series of interviews in which some of my favorite people (and probably some of yours) share three lessons they’ve learned by being married, plus two tips for single people.

This edition features Audrey Assad, “an independent singer, musician, and songwriter” who “has a great passion for extolling the peculiarities and joys of the Sacrament (of marriage). She now makes music for the Church which that Sacrament so vividly illuminates.” I am grateful for the time she took to chat about what she’s learned by being married:

AS: How did you meet your husband?

AA: I met my husband William at a youth conference in Tucson, AZ. I was there singing background vocals with Matt Maher, and William (who was a friend of Matt’s) was working on production crew. We didn’t really “connect” romantically till a year later, though. We were married in February 2011 in Phoenix, AZ.

AS: What’s the first lesson you’ve learned by being married?

AA: Marriage is a path to holiness first and foremost. It is a way to encounter Christ, to follow Him, and to unite ourselves to Him.

AS: And the second lesson?

AA: No matter how prepared you are by counseling or reading books, every marriage is unique and special and has its own ups and downs. You’re married to a specific person with a specific history and a specific worldview. So it’s important to stay flexible!

AS: And the third lesson?

AA: A sense of humor is crucial to getting through those crappy days we all experience. It’s easy to take frustrations out on the person who is closest to you. It’s good to learn to laugh together when things are annoying.

AS: What’s one tip for readers who are single?

AA: Single life is just as much a path to holiness as marriage is, so don’t miss the occasions of sanctification while they’re still there! Enjoy it as much as you can, and seize the opportunities for holiness that exist in your current state in life.

AS: And a second tip for singles?

AA: If you’re called to marriage, you’ll be a better and more whole spouse if you till the ground of your heart during your single years.

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Click here to connect with Audrey.

Click here to read all the posts in this series.

9/11 firefighter went in without delay

At his kitchen counter, Tim Harrigan flipped through the yellowing, plastic pages of the scrapbook. Part is pictures he took at ground zero. The other part, clips of Newsday articles about the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Ten years ago, he put the book together for his kids.
“I didn’t know how long I was going to be around,” he said. He didn’t know if he’d get to tell them his story.
The 46-year-old husband, father of four and retired New York Fire Department lieutenant is tall and built, composed and matter-of-fact. He paused between pages. Until recently, the book had been in his attic.
“It’s enough that it’s on your mind all the time,” he said.
He pointed at a picture of a void in the rubble of the World Trade Center’s south tower.
“We rescued somebody out of this hole,” he said.
He turned the page and pointed at another.
“That’s where we were when Tower 7 collapsed.”

 Click here to read the rest of the story, which I wrote for the Tampa Bay Times and originally printed Sept. 11, 2011.

And the winners are…

In last week’s post, I invited you to share a secret: something you have learned so far in your 20s (or something you learned in your 20s if you’re already out). Big thanks to all who participated! As promised, two participants won a free copy of Paul Angone’s new book, 101 Secrets For Your Twenties. Here are their secrets:

No matter what you do or how you’re dressed, someone out there thinks you’re doing it wrong, and they can’t believe you’re wearing that. Someone else out there is really impressed with your accomplishments and fighting envy for your eyes, or hair, or outfit. Ignore it all. Do what’s right, as best as you can figure it out, and if you mess up, apologize, then get up and try again. “Defeated” is a choice (albeit an extremely tempting one sometimes). -Mary Petrides Tillotson

I’ve learned recently what a gift singlehood can be – particularly in growth in one’s prayer life. And after talking with young married couples, I’ve learned that one’s prayer life will never be the same after marriage (not unexpected since all of life changes after marriage). -Aaron Ledgerwood

Congratulations to Mary and Aaron! Click here to read all the secrets readers submitted.