Top 5 Posts in 2012

It’s been a busy year for blogging and as 2012 comes to its conclusion, five posts of mine finish as most read this year. Below are links to each, plus excerpts. Enjoy the ones you haven’t read yet (or re-reading what you liked enough to read again). Happy new year!

The Most Popular Posts I Wrote in 2012:

5. Why I’m a virgin: the feedback

A week ago today, what I wrote about saving sex for marriage printed in the Perspective section of my paper, the Tampa Bay Times. 

Readers called me unintelligent and unattractive (So that’s why I’m a virgin.). 

A web editor had to shut down the comments online before the essay even appeared in print. “Too many personal attacks,” he said.

4. “Is there room for erotica in Christianity?”

“I knew there wouldn’t be a second date the moment the guy asked this question: 

“How do you feel about strip clubs?” 

Not for ‘em, I said. 

“What about porn?” 

Are you kidding? 

In the conversation that followed, I rebutted his defenses of both. He, a Christian (nominally, at least), was a consumer of erotic media, convinced that using it can be good. He is the only Christian I’ve met who has defended pornography. But he is not the only Christian who defends other kinds of erotic media.”

3. Virginity: a disadvantage in dating?

That people won’t date you for more than a month because you’re saving sex does not mean virginity is a disadvantage. It means you’re dating the wrong kind of people.

 2. Why I’m a virgin

“I like to talk about sex. 

This is natural for a woman who grew up in a culture that surrounds us with it, who is the product of parents who taught me no topic is taboo. But few who discuss sex with me are prepared for what I divulge: 

I’m a virgin.”

1. I am not saving myself for marriage. (I’m saving sex.) 

I’m not saving myself for marriage. 

First, I know no follower of Christ who thinks any of us can save ourselves. Secondly, to say “I’m saving myself” when you mean “I’m saving sex” equates who you are – and therefore your worth – with sex. But your worth is wrapped up in nothing except your existence. It is intrinsic. 

So I’m not saving myself. 

But I am saving sex.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Anonymous

    Your options, and the available pool of accomplished men (who aren’t gay) is severely limited. 99.9% of all the men will have nothing to do with you, and you know it.

  • Terry W.

    Wow. That’s a classy response. Not surprised that you signed with ‘anonymous’. It’s too bad that you would never take the opportunity to get to know Arleen, or people of her conviction. You would probably benefit from it. Blessings to you Arleen.

  • Anonymous

    I happened to stumble on your blog. As someone who doesn’t follow your writings, and who therefore doesn’t necessarily have an opinion on your writings one way or the other, I thought I’d give some (relatively) unbiased feedback. You focus a LOT on sex. Or the lack of it, rather. Skimming over your posts, a large percentage of them are on chastity and sex in general.

    This strikes me as kind of bizarre. Bizarre in the way that some leaders, before being outed as secretly gay, railed against the abominations of homosexuality (Ted Haggard for example). Bizarre in the way that some activists against sexual deviance turn out to be engaging in child porn production (lawyer Lisa Biron for example). This isn’t to say you’re engaged in some secret perversion like those people, but the reason they spoke out as loudly and as critically as they did, was because they secretly harbored the very feelings that they publicly shunned, so they HAD to speak out, in order to keep their feelings at bay.

    Maybe I’m totally wrong about your writings. All I know about sexuality is that its a natural impulse to all sexually-reproducing beings. It’s normal and healthy to want and to engage in safe sex. Orgasms, self-induced or with a partner, are some of nature’s most potent stress relievers. I assume you masturbate? Or does your chastity forbid this (I honestly don’t know)? I normally wouldn’t ask that kind of question of a stranger, unless they are already very forthcoming with their sexual practices and opinions. I’m guessing you must get some form of sexual satisfaction, if you are not engaging in sex itself. Why not write an entry on this? Is masturbation an acceptable outlet or not, is it healthy or not?

    Anyways, that’s my $0.02. “The lady doth protest too much” (,_methinks)