[Q&A: Weddings] How do you feel about the garter toss?

The Q: “How do you feel about the garter toss?” -Eddie*

The A: Short answer: Not good.

To the husbands whose wives tolerated (dare I say enjoyed?) the garter toss: This is not to say I hold that you tossed it against you. It is to say there will not be a garter toss at my (so far hypothetical) wedding.

The reason for this is manifold, but I’ll sum it up in these three ways:

1. Um, awkward? I tried, but could think of exactly zero things that make me feel ok about having my husband crawl up my dress on a dance floor under a spotlight in front of all our closest friends and relatives.

2. It makes a mildly degrading spectacle of a woman, and other stuff. While it’s never not funny to watch a man dance to “I’m Too Sexy,” the retrieval of the garter that comes before the toss is often chock full of raunch. It usually boils down to a guy feeling a woman up in front of a bunch of people. And while they are married, they are not married to everyone in the room. I have a couple hunches, re: what could pop into a person’s head while he or she watches my husband stick his hands up my dress. Do we really want to encourage that thought?

3. What’s the point? ‘Cause I kinda can’t come up with a good one. It’s a tradition, yes, but one that has no meaning for me. FYI: Odds are also bad I’ll toss a bouquet (no point there, either!). Maybe I just don’t like to throw stuff.

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Q&A is an occasional feature. If you have a Q, I can come up with an A (and if I don’t have an A, I’ll find somebody who does). To submit a question, click here. No topic is taboo (although I can’t promise I will answer every question).

*Real person, fake name.

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