[Q&A: Weddings] How do you feel about the garter toss?

The Q: “How do you feel about the garter toss?” -Eddie*

The A: Short answer: Not good.

To the husbands whose wives tolerated (dare I say enjoyed?) the garter toss: This is not to say I hold that you tossed it against you. It is to say there will not be a garter toss at my (so far hypothetical) wedding.

The reason for this is manifold, but I’ll sum it up in these three ways:

1. Um, awkward? I tried, but could think of exactly zero things that make me feel ok about having my husband crawl up my dress on a dance floor under a spotlight in front of all our closest friends and relatives.

2. It makes a mildly degrading spectacle of a woman, and other stuff. While it’s never not funny to watch a man dance to “I’m Too Sexy,” the retrieval of the garter that comes before the toss is often chock full of raunch. It usually boils down to a guy feeling a woman up in front of a bunch of people. And while they are married, they are not married to everyone in the room. I have a couple hunches, re: what could pop into a person’s head while he or she watches my husband stick his hands up my dress. Do we really want to encourage that thought?

3. What’s the point? ‘Cause I kinda can’t come up with a good one. It’s a tradition, yes, but one that has no meaning for me. FYI: Odds are also bad I’ll toss a bouquet (no point there, either!). Maybe I just don’t like to throw stuff.

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Q&A is an occasional feature. If you have a Q, I can come up with an A (and if I don’t have an A, I’ll find somebody who does). To submit a question, click here. No topic is taboo (although I can’t promise I will answer every question).

*Real person, fake name.

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  • Never been a huge fan myself. If I get married, chances are not great that I’ll have them either. Part of the problem is that you are lining up the single people (nothing like being at a wedding with an awkward reminder in front of everyone that you are the only one above the age of twelve that hasn’t found the love of your life) and throwing used underwear and dead flowers at them.

    • LOL @ “throwing used underwear and dead flowers at them.”

  • Totally agree! We skipped the garter toss at my wedding mostly for these reasons, along with the fact that most of my friends were either engaged, married, or in serious relationships at the time, and tossing the garter, or bouquet, would have been to an awkwardly small crowd. Instead, my DJ suggested an Anniversary Dance, in which my bouquet went as a gift to the longest-married couple. I don’t however, recommend doing the same with the garter =)

  • When we started talking about a “throw-away” bouquet for my daughter’s wedding, she said “Do I have to?” I thought for a minute, said “I guess not”, and she didn’t. Not one person asked about it, so I guess it wasn’t missed!

    • I’m with Kelli! Lol. In fact, as a single lady, I usually “have to go to the bathroom” when it’s time for the bouquet toss. No interest in catching it, either!