On a rainy Friday night a few summers ago, I dodged puddles in a parking lot at the back of a big, beige building in Virginia. Under my umbrella, I followed the aroma of Italian cuisine to the restaurant’s front door. There, a young man awaited me, ready for our first date.
We talked for so long I didn’t realize the restaurant closed nor notice its staff cleaning up around us. By the time he walked me to my car, I knew we’d have a second date. And we did, plus many more. We met for Mass several Sunday mornings. We held hands, and kissed, and, when he traveled for work, we FaceTimed. A few weeks in, I knew what I wanted—to discern marriage in earnest. I thought he did, too.
So I was surprised by what he said in passing a month after our first date: “…it’s still too soon to put a label on our relationship.” I didn’t know then what I know now: that people who are eager to kiss you but are not eager to call you “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” are not interested in discerning marriage with you. When you date them anyway, you will not end up with a spouse. You’ll end up with a fling.
Flings are fun at first but never last. Here are 4 signs that you’re in one (in my latest post for CatholicMatch).