“I believe it is important to reserve sex for marriage, but I also believe it is deeply flawed to put it in terms of ‘Saving it for my future spouse’.
I’m single. I hope there’s a future spouse in the picture–but I don’t know that. I’m not guaranteed that. ‘My future husband’ is a poor motivator, because he may not actually exist. I don’t want to struggle through self-control for decades in pursuit of a fantasy, only to end up burned out and bitter that it was all for nothing.
But if I ‘save sex’, as you put it, because I honor God (and not an imaginary man) with my body, and because I respect what He created sex to be–that’s a different story entirely. That’s a motivation that is sustainable through every season of life. That’s something that can actually lead me into gratitude and awe at the plan of God, rather than resentment for blessings seemingly withheld.
Thanks very much for bringing this perspective to the table.” -Amanda B., as commented today on I am not saving myself for marriage. (I’m saving sex.)