Why do I avoid God?

This CS Lewis quote has stuck with me since I saw it the other day:

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”

I am suddenly aware that lots of my decisions to pick TV or a snack or a book over prayer probably are not rooted in laziness, or in malice, or in anxiety over whether I will hear from Christ when I sit with him, but in anxiety over what he’s going to tell me when I do.

What project or vocation or choice or change will he invite me toward? What wherewithal will it require that I don’t think I have? How painful is the transition to it going to be, whatever it is?

I wonder if a lot of people who avoid God avoid him not because they are busy or lazy or unbelieving but because they are comfortable — not because they don’t think he is real but because deep down they know he is.

Conversion, healing, and freedom.

A Book Review

Loved As I Am by Sr. Miriam James is, as its subtitle states, “An Invitation to Conversion, Healing, and Freedom through Jesus.” As a bonus, it’s a fast and easy read.


Sr. Miriam James shares the story of her own journey to freedom in chapters that challenge us to pursue the purposes for which God created us, to let love transform us, and to trust that God knows what he is doing.

A truth to consider when your life alarms you.

The other day my dog paced, panicked by what he had heard outside the house: a lawnmower. He panted as he passed me in the kitchen, while he aimed to detect whether what he heard would hurt him.

It was my lunch break — a quick trip home to eat. While I ate, I thought about the work outside of work that overwhelms me. Stuff to write. A chastity talk to cut from 45 minutes to 30. Flights to book. Contracts to write.

Whoever pushed the mower outside pushed it closer.

Lawnmowers are everything that alarms my dog.

They are loud. They are probably scary to look at. They are bigger than he is, their paths are unpredictable, and their purpose is a mystery.

A pornography discussion we have to have.

Last week, the Catching Foxes podcast released its eighth episode: “Authentically Honest About Pornography.” If you listen to one podcast episode in your lifetime, I implore you to make it this one.

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I’m fairly certain that for two men to discuss this so honestly, so publicly, is unprecedented. What I like about the episode most is what hosts Gomer and Luke start, and what they model.