Have you ever felt like what you did or said changed your course so completely that you ruined your chances of achieving something?
That a decision you made created conditions that made it impossible for you to get what you want?
That a part of you had so turned somebody off — be it an acquaintance, a potential employer, a guy or a girl — that had you only spoken or behaved differently, the rupture that rendered your relationship over forever never would have existed.
That thanks to you, you lost what you should’ve, would’ve, could’ve had.
As if we have that kind of control.
The truth is we are in control of what we say and do. And sometimes, that thing we say or do does, in fact, change your course so completely that what you thought you had coming never comes. And sometimes, that decision you make does create conditions that aren’t favorable for getting what you want.
But an important and often neglected part of this truth is that because my course or conditions change or somebody walks away because of me does not mean I didn’t get what I should’ve gotten. It means I didn’t get what wasn’t meant to be — that I didn’t get what wasn’t designed for me.
And if it wasn’t for me, why would I even want it?
Once, Job said this to God (Job 42:2): “I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.”
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A version of this post originally appeared in 2011.