[callout]This is a guest post by Stephanie Calis, the author of Invited: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016) and the Co-Founder and Editor in Chief of Spoken Bride, a ministry and lifestyle blog for Catholic brides and newlyweds.[/callout]
Something is up with me. Whenever I consciously make a choice in my work, my relationships, or my parenting that’s out of the mainstream, I want to hide it. I avoid talking about it.
Yet a part of me also wants others to find out, so I can talk about it. What is it that makes me a living, breathing contradiction?
To stand for something, to let your voice be heard and in doing so, to reveal who you are, satisfies the part of us that longs to be known, seen, and understood. Name a political or social matter, and you’ll most likely find a contingent speaking out against it.
And rightly so. Freedom is a gift; our voices are a gift, and the desire to make our opinions known is rooted in a good desire that speaks to how we’re created. Yet going against general opinion means something different than it did a generation ago. What was once considered progressive is now perceived as normal, and what was once considered traditional is now perceived as uptight and reactionary, particularly with regard to sexuality. Continue reading “Why it’s still worth saving sex during engagement.”
[callout]The following quote comes from Fr. Benedict Groeschel in his book The Courage to Be Chaste. Click here to read my review of it.[/callout] Continue reading “A practical way to win in a fight with sin.”
Last year, I stood at a booth at a women’s conference, selling shirts and telling visitors about the virtue of chastity. One of them — in her 50s and still single — loitered at the table until she found the words.
“This doesn’t work,” she said.
“What doesn’t work?” I asked her.
She pointed at the big, foam board replica of the cover of my book, Chastity Is For Lovers — which, then, had not yet published.
“This stuff,” she said. “I’ve lived my whole life for God, and I still don’t have a husband.” Continue reading “How to snap out of an ‘I’m still single’ pity party.”
The Q, regarding a person’s decision to save sex for marriage: “Many people say that your first time having sex is awkward, and every time you have sex for the first time with a new partner is awkward. Why would you want to have an awkward wedding night?” -Katie*
The A: We don’t. Nobody does, because nobody’s decision to save sex is rooted in his or her hope for an awkward wedding night. But that doesn’t mean the risk doesn’t cross our minds. Of course it does. Continue reading “Q and A: Why would you want an awkward wedding night?”
Last week, after my third sex essay printed in the Tampa Bay Times, I received an email from Dr. Lodovico Balducci — a faithful Times reader who has responded to each sex essay I’ve written for the paper since 2009.
He sent the letter to the editor that he submitted, which printed in part this week. With his permission, I’ve pasted the full version of his letter below. I’m grateful for it and hopeful you’ll find his points about agape and sex as insightful as I did: Continue reading “On agape and sex.”