Author: Arleen

Communication is beautiful.

I imagine my family discovered my life-long love for it long before I did. I was the kid who wouldn’t. stop. talking (only at home).

Communication creates and perpetuates a connection from one to others. It disseminates information. It affirms a person’s authenticity or in-authenticity. I like communication. I got a degree in it-like it. I am as infatuated with it as I am with grammar (and I am obsessed with grammar).

Which is why when I started grad school, it was both wonderful and painful to learn the following:

You.

Can’t.

Not.

Communicate.

It’s impossible. Everything you do or don’t do, every word you say or don’t say, every time your body moves and doesn’t

says…

something.

This isn’t actions speak louder than words. It’s actions (both voluntary and involuntary [e.g. body language], words (and their frequency and duration), inaction and silence all speak.

So we all always are saying something. We are in a constant state of sending and perceiving messages. But I think we get in trouble because we get a little caught up in assumptions.

We assume, for instance, that we’re on the same page (figuratively speaking). We assume so-and-so picks up from my facial expression what I intended to put down with it (when in reality, so-and-so might see “anger!” on my face when what I mean to say with it is “Dude! Do you smell that, too?”).

Which is why generally, it is good to use words. And it is better when you use actions to authenticate them.