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The home stretch.

Writing a book is hard.

It is stare at blank screens, regret EVER sleeping in, what I wouldn’t give for more days in a week hard.

It is also a gift.

It is an OH EM GEE, I can’t believe this is real, pinch me (not really) gift.

Since I started writing it, I’ve cut back on blogging. As my deadline draws near (and it’s far closer than I am ready for it to be), I’ll cut back more on blogging. While I mostly won’t write new content here again until the book is done, friends and fellow bloggers will step in to save the day. The series of guest posts — to appear Mondays, starting with yesterday’s, by Leah Darrow — will last until Christmas at least.

While I’m “away,” I’ll continue to tweet and share posts on Facebook. And while I write, I will be grateful if you’d support me. Here’s how:

1. Pray for me.

2. Ask St. Francis de Sales to pray for me (He is the patron saint of writers and journalists. We’re homies.).

3. Stay tuned to Twitter and Facebook for links to surveys I’ll use while I write. Take said surveys. Invite your friends to take said surveys, too (and not just your Christian ones!).

And now, I write.

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Click here to read more about my forthcoming book.

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THE BIGGEST ANNOUNCEMENT I HAVE EVER MADE.

Since Feb. 28, 2013 — the last day of Pope Benedict’s papacy — I’ve been harboring a secret.

A secret I’m ready to share.

I sat that morning at the kitchen table, typing grateful Tweets to the pope and waiting to receive news that would make or break my day (and potentially change my life). In Notre Dame, Indiana, 1100 miles north of my house, the people gathered who would determine which kind of news I’d get. They discussed, deliberated, and decided, all from a room at a publishing house called Ave Maria Press.

After the meeting, an editor delivered the news to me like this:

“So,” he said. “How would you like to write a book for us?”

I SAID YES.

I said yes because they (the fabulous people at Ave Maria Press) said yes, too. They had gathered that day to review a book proposal I had written, and to decide whether they’d like me to write the book. Indeed they would, and indeed I am (and it’s been a work in progress ever since).

The book — about love, chastity, and sex — is slated for a Fall 2014 release (and I will reveal the title and cover when they’re ready). In the meantime, two things:

1. Thank you for your readership. I am more grateful than I adequately can express that you read what I write, respond to what I write, and inspire what I write by sharing or challenging my sentiments. More to come!

2. Your support while I write (and eventually launch) the book is so appreciated. Here are four ways you can help, if you’d like: First, pray for me, and for the project. Writing a book is officially the greatest feat I ever have attempted (one at which I will succeed by the grace of God, with the help of a wonderful editor). Second, participate in an upcoming series of surveys I will share (which might result in your being quoted in the book!). Third, invite me to discuss love, chastity, and sex with young adults or parents at your church, school, or other organization. Fourth, share my work with your friends (and let them know I’d love to connect at arleenspenceley.com, on Twitter, on Facebook, and on Google+).

Hope you all are as pumped as I am. And now, I write.

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Thoughts on chastity, sex, and self-mastery.

I stumbled recently upon a tweet or a post in which its writer opined on self-mastery.

I don’t remember who it was or exactly what he or she said (I read a lot of things.). I do remember disagreeing. I suspect, then, that the tweet or post in some way decried the quest for self-mastery as bad. Which wouldn’t surprise me. The culture that surrounds us isn’t conducive to it. The culture that surrounds us ultimately says “be governed by your drives” (for sex, for instance).

We are taught to let our drives decide what we’ll do (want sex, get sex) instead of acknowledging our drives as there, and as God-given, but using other guides, like love and critical thought, to decide why and when to act on them.

Regarding drives, chastity says “govern them.” Chastity says use self-mastery to do it. Self-mastery requires discipline, but to get better at discipline isn’t the point. The point is to get better at love.
Self-mastery is self-dominion. It’s possession of self. It’s being the boss of your drives. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it is “ordered to the gift of self.”Love, for single people and priests and nuns and married or celibate people, regardless of sexual orientation or experience or lack thereof, is a gift of self. When we love, we give ourselves in different ways to different people.

This is why, when love is the goal, self-mastery is important.

We can’t give away what we don’t own.

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Hey Tampa! Let’s meet up.

A week ago today, I sat on a red bar stool in front of a podium in the youth center at Christ the King Catholic Church in Tampa. But that night, there weren’t any youth.

Instead, young adults showed up who are part of the parish’s young adult ministry and I got to do two of my favorite things:
Meet new people and talk sex.
The topic for the talk I gave was “Why Saving Sex For Marriage Doesn’t Doom It,” ambiguous on purpose because saving sex dooms neither sex nor marriage. The goal of the talk is in part to tell my story, that of a 27-year-old virgin whose career in journalism was the catalyst for her closer look at the Church’s perception of sex versus the world’s. It is also in part to rebut what the world says about saving sex (that it results in doom), and to prepare the people I meet to do the same.
I write about this today for two reasons:
One: I am grateful to CTK Young Adults for the opportunity to chat and for the discussion that followed (which was so good we took it to the parking lot after we got kicked out).
Two: I want to do it again this summer and fall, and this time for the young adults, parents, or staff at your church (Catholic or not). Priority one, as a resident of the Tampa Bay Area of Florida, is to travel throughout it. (But if your church is elsewhere, let’s talk travel or video chat.) For information, send me a note at arleenwrites at gmail dot com. Looking forward to meeting up.
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Click here to view my current schedule.